Many times I realised that I am stuck in one place and I looked outside the window and realised that lovely comforts of our repetitive nature is a defence mechanism. There’s no way e could actually escape this reality with any form of dedication. At last the escape is also a part of the routine defined to control our existence and everyday lives.
We can’t will our own survival, it’s willed at some other much simpler level we are unaware of. It’s my birthday and I am not celebrating it because it’s not something voluntary and I can not reverse it. My words might sound rude and might go to the extent of being frivolous.
But life as you see runs only on reasons. I loved this girl and she let me right before my birthday. And another relationship where the girl was poisonous and almost drove me to suicide. The feelings I have had for a girl who rejected them with up front lies was another for whom I left my home and drove myself to a point of encouragement after a while I just went away.